Making everything ok...

This has been a very hard weekend for me, for many reasons...

I have to find a way to make everything ok, because right now, with things the way they are it is not ok.

But now I want to list some of the things that made this weekend a little easier-

Mom and Dad- even though they are far away, it is so great to have parents that I can call and cry and vent to, they listen, they cry with me, and they support me and my decisions in all that I do, and I am so grateful to them for that.

I am grateful for Mom, who will agree with me and get mad with me at whoever it is that is hurting me, sometimes you just need someone who will call them a jerk with you haha. She is always good at that and I love her!

I am grateful for dad, he is so good at just letting me vent, he listens and he agrees and he doesn't try to fix things, he is just such a good listener. We have taught him well haha. I love him!

I am grateful for my very good friend Brittney- she is also very good at letting me vent, it is so wonderful to have a friend who knows what is going on in my life and is there when I need it. I know how busy she is with wedding plans and other things in life, but she is always willing to listen a little when I need her. I love her!

And I am grateful to her and Zack and Courtney coming to church with me, I know that it is hard for Brittney and Zack to switch between wards every other week, but it helps me more than I think they understand. That is 3 hours that I don't have to spend alone, 3 hours that I get to feel like things are going to be ok because I don't feel so lonely. When they are not there I sit alone, I try not to, I try to be brave and sit by cute guys, or talk to new people, but most of the time it just doesn't work, and I sit alone. So thank you to you guys for coming with me, especially this weekend, I needed it.

I don't know how or when everything is going to be ok, I don't know what I can do to make things change, to find that one person who can make the difference. I just don't know how to do it. If you have any ideas let me know haha. But I have faith that it will happen, that someday things are going to change, that they will be ok. That faith is being weakened however, I am doing anything that I can to keep it strong and keep it going.

I just don't think I can take anymore...

But there are still things, and especially people who I am grateful for, and I am trying to focus on that. :)

I hate that!

Just a quick thought- That may or may not be related to an experience from today haha ;)-

I hate it when I see a cute guy somewhere random like the grocery store, and you look at each other as you pass, you both smile, and you know you are both thinking the same thing- CUTE! :)- but you have no way to approach them or anything and you both just keep walking thinking.. Dang it!

I just hate that! Although it is fun too! ;)

Somewhere to share!

Here is somewhere that I can share a little about my life and what I am up too. :) Life is a little crazy right now, but it is good too. I have switched to full time at work which is really gonna take some getting used to haha, 11 hour days are really long when you are used to 5-6 hours. But it is so good that this opportunity came up so that I can earn more money while I wait for things to work out with my program at school.

Living alone is an interesting change for me, some parts of it I really like and other things are not so fun. But one part that I actually really like is the cooking, it has been so fun to try new recipes and experiment, I am learning a lot! As my friends are well aware I have fallen in LOVE with the freezer haha, I love to find things that I can make in larger quantities and freeze ahead of time so that they are quick and easy to make. It is really fun, and great practice for the future, it makes life so much easier! And I will share the good recipes here for anyone that is interested! :)

PS- So You Think You Can Dance starts tonight, I am so excited! Best show ever! :)